As an artist there is usually a time when you hit a bump on the road that tumbles everything about you as a person. So to speak. For instance, I am sure everyone has their own personal belief of beliefs. However (every once in a while) an artist who strives to not only be better, but really tries to push the envelope in terms of who they are or what they are all about runs into a conflict that contradicts their own confort zone.

What's the point of this? Well, you see, mentally.. I am in a very bad shape. The artwork that I am currently doing and have been doing these past few weeks really reflects that. In a few of them, they even challenge and contradict who I am or what I really stand for as an individual. A few of these peices are some of the best work I've done, but only because of the price I had to shed out in order to create it. My artwork has always been about me and who I am, and these latest peices really talk to my audience. Some of these might also be my more controversial due to the subject matter or their explicit nature. In some instances, the artwork could very much be interpreted as pornography. Which would contradict the nature of who I want to be.

I think when I first started taking art serious back in 2001, I tried to shock my audience intentinally. But as I grew as a person and artist, I learned to better express myself without trying to cause a reaction. Now, it seems I have gone full circle on accident. The artwork scares even me. Not since my drawing "terminal illness" have I really touched dugged deep. The spark is back, but at the same time; there is a heavy price to it all.

I wonder, am I a slave to the art or is the art a slave to me? I don't know who is in control anymore. But maybe that was the point.

So, uh.. "die-hards" are bitching about the last episode? What's not to like? The show ended off in such a great way. I'm sure everyone who's hatin' on the finale expected the show to get extremely out of character by having a Scareface-esque kind of ending, or having Tony killed only to be viewed as a Jesus-type figure. But you know what, the show didn't cater to you. It was an amazing episode to an amazing show.

It was perfect and I don't think it could have been done any different.

It's like in Lord of War staring Nick Cage. "I would tell you to go to hell, but I think you're already there."

Take that how you will.

Hi. If I can spare a few moments of your time, that would be nice. This isn't any commentary of my artwork or poems so you're safe for now. I have recently come across this essay written about how pornography has and is ruining society. (Yes, I know. Please, don't exit the window just yet. I need to say something and I would like you to read it.)

The Essay ---> [link]

I feel this should be required reading for both men and women of any age group wether it be pre-teens, teenagers, adults, or senior citizens. There is explicit imagry through words and vulgar language within that essay, but anybody who has seen a porno movie or knows of them has nothing to worry about. It's nothing out of the ordinary. You know, I see videos and documentaries about wars in far off countries and how goverments are behind certain tragic events and those movies are described as, "required viewing" for you will be "rudely awaken", yet a topic of this nature never seems to ever get in the lime light.

I have this fear that I will get only about two or three comments in this journal entry. I feel this topic, this examination about the demeaning form of entertainment towards women will be over looked or not given the time of day. This needs to be read and to be spread throughout. Men and Women need to open their eyes and realizes that pornography is a big problem.

I pointlessly contributed to such a filthy act when I was a teenager. I used to be a monster and have been trying to become a better person these past several months. I used women and was a horrible individual to many females in my own life. I justified being a rapist.

I urge anybody in my watch list or person browsing my art to take the time out and read the link I posted. The unfortunate truth of all of this, I will most likely not get much of a male audience about this subject, but I would at least like to get through to the women. Women, you can not let men like me try and justify us degrading you in the fashion that we do. You are not sex objects and you are not the lesser of the two sexes. You were not put on this Earth for your boyfriend or husband to fuck you or use you. For the later part of my teens I thought I wasn't doing any harm, but I was stupid.

Anybody who will dismiss the essay because they do not agree is stupid, just like I was. You know? Political artists here in DeviantART want our troops back. Some artists believe President Bush is bad because we concentrate on other countries and not on our own. They say we have our own battles to fight in our own soil, well.. guess what? This is one of those battles. If not, this is the battle.

Please, read it. Comment on it. Spread it. If not for me or yourself, then do it for your gender. Your mother, sister, and unborn child.

Pornography: The Legal Rape ---> [link]

One of my drawings entitled, "Still-Life #24" is being displayed at the Laredo Community College Student Art Show Exibit. Those of you around the area should check it out as well as a lot of great peices done by various students at Laredo Community College. The show will only be running for half of this month. The opening reception had been on Thursday, and it was pretty successful.

All in all, it is a good show. It's great to be a part of it.

Calling all Artists! Come one, come all!

The Artist's Cafe' [link]

Do you love art? ..do you create art? Looking for some more exposure? ..perhapes you want to get to know more like-minded individuals?

Maybe you are just want a cool relaxing place aside from DeviantART to hang out in? Well, fellow Artist. I present to you The Artist's Cafe' [link] It was started by me and the very talented Kay Ciesielczyk [link] The Artist's Cafe' [link] is a place to let you, the artist be yourself with a bunch of other like-minded artists! Join the fun, intimate forum. Just kick back, post your art, post critques, and mingle with other Artists.

There's more to it than meets the eye. There's a movie board, music board, as well as a place to discuss your favorite video games and TV shows. It's a very new forum, and we are currently trying to get it to be more active. Let's try and make this a very successful message board for all Artists alike.

Also, for those who care.. check out the forum for some exclusive drawings and poetry by me that you won't see on DeviantART or my personal site. You might even see material weeks before they become a DeviantART entry. Check it out, ya'll!

So what are you waiting for?!

Come on in!

The Artist's Cafe' [link]